Wednesday, April 6, 2011

what to do...what to do...

In polling my most creative and sarcastic friends for names and tag lines for this blog of mine, I found myself with dozens of ideas.  The top runner up for the name of my blog was "Why I will Never Homeschool."  I, and many of my friends want to puke when we read about perfect women with perfect lives who do it all and still have the patience to spend every waking moment with their children by providing them with their perfected educational experience.  My lack of patience is only one reason I won't do it, but I'll save that for another post.  So let's just do a quick "get to know Jill" by giving you just ten of my many peeves, all of which I'm sure will be a separate post at some point:

1. People who toss their cigarettes out of the window and they bounce on the road under my car.  For some reason I always wonder if it's going to start my car on fire and kill us all.  Plus it's littering and they never get fined the $500 that someone who throws a cup out the window would be charged.
2. Being pregnant.  I fail to see the sex appeal.  I do think there are some pregnant women who are beautiful (I am not one of those lucky few), but not sexy.  I tried being sexy.  I really did, but the swollen ankles, the constant puking and headaches and lack of sleep and peeing all the time.  Seriously, someone explain the sex appeal to me.
3. Potty training. It's 100% pure and utter torture and I resent those who say it's no big deal.
4. Screaming girls. (uh oh. I'm done for!)
5. At the major intersection by my house, when the light turns green I either go straight or turn right to get to where I'm going.  Oncoming traffic turns left and 90% of the cars turning left think they have the right-of-way, so I'm always JUST about to get hit.  (I drew you a picture below)
6. Incorrect use of grammar on television, especially using "fewer" and "less" interchangeably.  "Less cavities!"  Come on, Colgate.  Really?!  Worse yet is the argument that advertisers are just going with the flow of societal norms.  Yes, let's pat ourselves on the back for being stupid!
7. Politics on facebook.  (Unless, of course, I agree with you)
8. Cats.  I do not find them cute, funny, or useful in any way. (plus I'm allergic to them, so there's that)  I'm still trying to get the smell of cat pee out of my house from the former owners.  This could be interesting to some because admittedly, I sort of look and act like one at times.
9. The fact that my hair never stopped falling out after my last pregnancy.
10. People who are "on" all the time.  EX.HAUST.ING.

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