Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Open Letter To Home Improvement Stores (and many grocers)

Dear Home Depot, Lowes, and Menards,

I've been pushing my cart through your stores pretty often lately. We are there almost daily now grabbing something for my bathroom remodeling project. Monday it was a sheet of drywall and roll of insulation. Yesterday it was a light fixture. Today it was an electrical box.

You probably know me and my 2 year old son by now and you probably cringe when we arrive. You hear him screaming as I wander up and down the isles to find what I need as quickly as I can. You see me give him the angry whispers in his ear to which he responds by yelling “NO!” and crying even more loudly. You watch as I shove snacks and a sippy cup at him to try to shut him up. You mock me as I buy one of each in every size so I can decide at home and then I return what I don’t use simply to save time in the store with the screaming child.

But I blame you, Home Depot, Lowes, and Menards.

You see, my son is in the best of moods when we arrive at your store. We walk into the entrance to get a cart and then in happens. He sees your car-shaped shopping cart. The cart that is so huge and clunky that no normal human being has the capability to maneuver it without knocking down every excess display in the store. My son sees the car cart and he must ride in that cart. When I calmly and resolutely tell him that we are using a regular cart, the fun begins. He goes limp. He melts down. He yells. He cries. He doesn't stop crying. I even stoop to making deals with the 2 year old telling him that he can ride on the end of the cart if he calms down (despite Home Depot’s public warnings about children and shopping carts over the P.A. system). He will not be pacified until we leave your store and the memory of the giant car cart has faded.

I’m writing this letter to you, Home Depot, Lowes, and Menards, to ask beg you to please, please, PLEASE remove these horrible wretched toddler time-bombs from your stores. They are a parent’s worst nightmare. Unless you really enjoy screaming toddlers, then, I suppose, keep them.


Snarky Dabbler

PS. I hate "open letters," but I didn't know what else to title this.

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